Golden Opportunity Vol. 9 No. 6
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THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY--GRANDPARENTING
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The Golden OpportunityQGrandparenting (Volume 9, Number 6, 1998) is an
extension newsletter prepared by Andrea Bressler, Clearfield Co.; Sandra Hall,
Clinton Co.; Debra Gregory, Huntingdon Co.; Nancy Covert, Jefferson Co.;
Cheryl Miller, Perry Co.; A. Jane Beightol, Mifflin Co.; and Jane Mecum,
Dauphin Co. This electronic version is for use by other agents or directly by
community members. (Professionals: Please acknowledge the source of these
materials if you re-use them).
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Volume 9, Number 6, 1998
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IN THIS ISSUE
Peace Begins At Home
Doing the Right Thing
Important Skills to Have
Bowling
Catching Snowflakes
Clipping Time
Puzzle Cards
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Dear Grandparents,
Do you fall into the category of "parenting your grandchildren"? If you do,
you are not alone. Grandparents across the country, regardless of income,
background, or race, are assuming this major responsibility.
Between 1980 and 1996, the number of grandchildren living with their
grandparents nearly doubled P from 2.3 million to more than 4 million. Even
more grandparents are providing regular care to grandchildren who donUt live
with them.
As a grandparent facing the prospect of caring "full time" for your
grandchildren, think through what you want to do, what you are able to do, and
what you must do. Prepare yourself and your family and much as possible for
the challenges ahead.
To learn more about "Grandparents Raising Grandchildren" call your local
Cooperative Extension Office. On Tuesday, January 12, 1999, 1:30 p.m. to 4:30
p.m. there is an exciting satellite training program that you will not want to
miss.
The three-hour program will include a two-hour satellite video conference with
panel discussions, on-site activities, and pre-recorded video segments.
Participants will have the opportunity to call in or fax questions and
information to panel members.
You may also receive information from Association of Retired Persons (AARP)
Grandparent Information Center. Check with your local support groups or
telephone - (202) 434-2296 for more information.
Sincerely,
Jane A. Mecum, CFLE, Family Living Agent
********************** HERE COME THE GRANDKIDS ***********************
Peace Begins At Home
********************
It happens every 13 seconds in America P in our houses and apartment
buildings, in our cars, supermarkets, and playgrounds P wherever people
gather. In the heat of an angry moment, otherwise rational people commit acts
of violence against children P sometimes with sticks and fists; sometimes
without lifting a finger.
As we approach the new millennium, we are leaving behind one of the most
violent centuryUs in our history. There were over three million reported
cases of child maltreatment in the U.S. last year, most of which happened in
the home.
While many adults still spank their children, the most common and
underreported forms of abuse show no obvious physical scars and are often hard
to detect. They include verbal and emotional abuse P put downs, name-calling
and the like P the most common form of abuse P neglect. Neglect can mean
abandonment or disdain of a childUs basic needs. But, more often, it is
simply not spending enough quality time with children. Not engaging them in
the concentrated, meaningful family activities and relationships leaves
lasting efforts on children.
Why, given the risks, do adults continue to mistreat children? Experts cite
many possible root causes: economic and social oppression and isolation,
pervasive drug and alcohol abuse, workplace stress brought home, and lack of
adequate resources for families in need, to name a few. We seem to live in a
society that glorifies violence at every turn P in the media, in our
neighborhoods, even in our families.
_____________________
| Grandparents |
| Make A Difference |
| in the Lives of |
| Young Children |
____________________
There are two necessary steps to helping caretakers of children become
peaceful:
1. Learn about, practice, and promote nonviolent discipline that will allow
parents of other caregivers to deal with annoying behavior problems before
they get out of control. And:
2. Find ways to control spur-of-the-moment rage that might translate into
child abuse.
By using the peaceful approach to nonviolent discipline teaches children:
* to respect themselves, other people and their environment.
* to be tolerant, compassionate and able to recognize, prevent and resolve
conflict.
* to become nurturing and to use open communications that will establish
constructive relationships and prevent problems before they begin.
*********************************
** HAVE YOU **
** HUGGED OR TALKED **
** TO YOUR GRANDCHILD TODAY? **
*********************************
Source: Family Information Services, July, 1998
Prepared by: Jane A. Mecum, CFLE, Dauphin Co.
*************************** GRAND IDEAS ******************************
Doing the Right Thing
*********************
While all grandchildren are just perfect angels, we all know that occasionally
they do misbehave. There are lots of articles on spanking P Spank, DonUt
Spank P but the real challenge is getting kids to do the right thing as often
as possible.
Here are some tips to help yourself and other adults in the lives of your
grandchildren do the right things:
Walk the talk
Be a childUs primary role model. Practice what you preach.
Share the power
Create clear rules, expectations and consequences with input from the
children. Children do want rules.
Handle with Care
Be firm, but gentle with your discipline. Avoid the yelling, grabbing,
threatening, name calling P they donUt show love.
Accentuate the Positive
Praise and reward (not money) good behavior as often as possible.
DonUt sweat the small stuff
Ignore minor infractions. Deal with the larger issues instead.
Pay attention
TV isnUt the answer. Kids want your time and attention. Often time when they
donUt get it, they get into trouble.
Play It cool
Blowing your stack only teaches the child that it is O.K. to lose your temper.
Remember to use that old count to 10 idea.
Important Skills to Have
************************
Nurturing
--------
Showing affection toward children is important. It is a reaffirmation of who
they are and it teaches them that caring is important.
Communication
-------------
Listening is just as essential as talking. "Kids say the darnest things" if
we only take the time to hear them.
Discipline
----------
Positive techniques last a life time. It can teach decision making,
responsibility, and self-respect.
Problem-Solving
----------------
It takes time and energy to resolve conflicts. Mediating and negotiating is a
two way street.
Management
-----------
Prioritizing your time and resources is a challenge. Think carefully about
what is important and make that your priority.
Networking
-----------
Talk with other grandparents and friends. Being a grandparent can be joyous.
Look around your community for resources to make your time with your
grandchildren fun and rewarding.
************************** CHILDREN'S PAGE ****************************
BOWLING
********
Coordinating Whole Body
-----------------------
YouUll Need
Bowling Pins ----- Wide dowel rods 8-inches or paper towel or toilet rolls
Small lightweight ball
Colored or Masking Tape
Activity
----------
Turn a card table on its side and push it against a wall. Tape a large piece
of cardboard around the legs at each end. Set up the bowling pins near the
back of the table. Using tape make a wide bowling lane about 6 to 8 feet
long.
CATCHING SNOWFLAKES
*******************
Coordinating Arms
----------------
YouUll Need
Snow
Evergreen Branches
Activity
--------
Collect small evergreen branches. Take them outside on a snowy day.
Give the branches to the grandchildren. Let them catch snowflakes on their
branches. Then wave the branches through the air, watching the snowflakes fly
away.
On clear days, have the children use their evergreen branches to scoop the
snow off the ground and then wave them through the air.
CLIPPING TIME
*************
Coordinating Small Fingers
--------------------------
YouUll Need
A Chair
Clothesline or heavy string
Various Clips
Activity
--------
Tie a piece of clothesline tightly around the legs of a chair. Put a small
run on each side of the chair to make it steady. Have a basket of different
clips (giant paper clips, hair clips, clothes pins, chip clips, etc.) in a
box. Put it under the chair.
Have the grandchildren sit on the rungs, choose clips, and clip/unclip them.
See what designs they can make.
PUZZLE CARDS
************
Wondering what to do with your leftover holiday cards? Turn them into
puzzles. Cut greeting cards into puzzle pieces (vary the size and number of
pieces according to your grandchildUs ability). Put each puzzle in a
recloseable plastic bag. Let your grandchild select a puzzle, put them
together, put the pieces back into the bags.
Mail the puzzle with a secret message to your grandchild.
Prepared by: Jane A. Mecum, CFLE, Dauphin County
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For the last nine years, a group of dedicated family living extension agents
have produced the Golden Opportunities newsletter. As with all good things,
it is now time to "put the newsletter to rest." For the writing staff, it has
been a pleasurable challenge to keep up the changing issues of todayUs
grandparents. It is our hope that you have gained something as a subscriber
as been very gratifying to serve you!
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+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist
Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences
323 Ag Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802
(814) 863-7871
Internet Address: DJL@PSU.EDU