College of Agricultural Sciences Cooperative Extension

Golden Opportunity, Grandparenting Vol.9, No.2 

                  THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY -- GRANDPARENTING



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The Golden OpportunityQGrandparenting (Volume 9, Number 2, 1998) is an 

extension newsletter prepared by Andrea Bressler, Clearfield Co.; Sandra Hall, 

Clinton Co.; Debra Gregory, Huntingdon Co.; Nancy Covert, Jefferson Co.; 

Cheryl Miller, Perry Co.; and Jane Mecum, Dauphin Co.  This electronic version 

is for use by other agents or directly by community  members.  (Professionals: 

Please acknowledge the source of these materials if you re-use them).

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Volume 9, Number 2, 1998



-----------------------------------------

            IN THIS ISSUE

One Day in the Lives of American Youth

My How Things Have Changed

Living With an Adolescent

ChildrenUs Page:  Birdfeeders; Folkpatterns

-----------------------------------------



Dear Grandparent,



Adolescence is the time between childhood and adulthood. Your adolescent 

grandchildren face a very different world than you faced as an adolescent. 

ItUs easy to assume that because you donUt live in a big city, that many of 

todayUs woes pass by your community. Unfortunately this isnUt so.



The list below portrays a grim future for our children. This is the reality of 

todayUs world. Instead of feeling hopeless, use this list to put into 

perspective the severity of long hair, loud music, or other topics you could 

easily disagree with your grandchild.



This issue will focus on how things have changed since you grew up. IUve also 

included some tips for living with adolescents. Grandparents are often the 

adults youth seek out when having difficult times at home.



Sincerely,



Andrea Bressler, C.F.C.S.

Extension Agent





One Day in the Lives of American Youth

---------------------------------------

* Every day seven teenagers and 10 young adults are the victims of 

  homicide.

* Every day 10 teenagers and 13 young adults are killed by firearms.

* Every day 39 youth ages 15 to 24 are killed in motor vehicle 

  accidents.

* Every day 604 teenagers contract syphilis or gonorrhea.

* Every day teenagers give birth to 1,336 babies and teens younger than 

  15 give birth to 29 babies.

* Every day of the school year 2, 478 teenagers drop out of school.

* Every day 4,901 teenagers and 2,976 young adults are the victims of 

  violent crime.

* Every day 7,742 teenagers become sexually active.

* Every day 8,826 teenagers and 6,235 young adults are the victims of 

  theft.



(Source:  ChildrenUs Defense Fund.)





---------------------- HERE COME THE GRANDKIDS -----------------------



Living With An Adolescent

------------------------



**Expect excitement!**  

Put on your shock-proof jacket. Be ready for the hair-raising stuff. 

Provide a heavy dose of understanding, not a steady diet of severe 

lectures.



**Be firmIwith affection**

Adolescents expect and appreciate limits. Even the one who wails, 

"Everyone else is going!" may secretly be glad she has an out.



**DonUt expect perfection.**

Accept the fact that each grandchild is a little different than you 

were and that things have changed.



**Make their friends welcome at your home.**

DonUt be a super-snooper of their affairs when the gang comes over. Be 

consistently available. Do all your character quizzing about their 

friends in private.



**DonUt forget to pat them on the back.**

These adolescent years are for doing and going. Show interest in what 

is going on. Spend more time encouraging the good than in punishing 

the bad.



**Give them time to be alone.**

This alone time can be used to think things through. Respect their wishes for 

privacy.



**Keep the lines of communication open.**

Often adolescents donUt even understand themselves, but they want adults to 

whom they can go and who they can be sure will at least listen and let them 

explain.



**Stand by themInot over them.**

Show quiet concern for what they wear and where they go. Prepare them to lead 

their lives. They want guidance, not nagging about every little thing.



**Make them feel wanted.**

ItUs easy at times to knowingly act aloof and ignore those you love. Show 

confidence in their potential and donUt judge until the job has been fulfilled 

or neglected.



**Never let your love be doubted.**

DonUt put conditions on giving affection. Just keep demonstrating your love.



**Keep learning.**

Your grandchildren expect you to know. If you donUt, find out soon! Be 

interested in the developments of the world.



**Be a living example.**

Look at your own conduct. DonUt argue with other family members, or gossip. Be 

out in front of your grandchild with a banner saying "LetUs go," not behind 

with a whip saying "Get going."



                     Relax and enjoy the moment.

                    Both you and your grandchild 

                    will only pass this way once!





------------------------------ GRAND IDEAS ---------------------------



"My How Things Have Changed"

-----------------------------

In todayUs rapidly changing world, your grandchildren face choices, problems, 

and opportunities unheard of a quarter century ago. Many of us have said, 

"They just donUt do it the way we did!" ItUs difficult to say if the "olden 

days" were better than today, but one thing is for sureQthey certainly do 

things differently today.



Take a few minutes and look over the following thenIandInow situations with 

your grandchildren. Most are amusing, some even thought provoking. Perhaps 

these situations will spark a memory and lead to some wonderful conversations. 

Use this list to enjoy and learn from each other.



ThenIandINowI



Then, we wondered if youUd be a boy or girlI 

now, we know your name long before you are born because technology lets us 

know if you are a boy or girl from the beginning.



Then, at school, teachers were on the lookout for kids who chewed gumI

now, teachers are worried if kids are bringing weapons to school.



Then, you waited until you were older to get your ears pierced onceI

now, you can get your ears pierced several times along with other places on 

your body.



Then, it took 3 hours in the oven to cook a mealI 

now, it takes 3 minutes in the microwave.



Then, we yearned for a black & white TVI

now, it is a sign the cable is out.



Then, you went to the library to do homeworkI

now, you can search the "web" for information on any topic in just minutes.



Then, to make a call, an operator had to connect you to your partyI

now, you can get connected by your computer though chat lines to anywhere in 

the world.

  

Then, if a label was showing on your clothing, it meant you put it on inside 

outI 

now, itUs fashionable to wear designer labels and even your clothes inside 

out.



Then, if you had a green thumb it meant you were a good gardenerI 

now, if you have a green thumb it means a company is coming to service your 

yard.

 

These are only a few of the changes that have happened over the last 25 years. 

IUll bet you could add to this list. Why not make your own list of 

thenIandInow. Share your experiences and how things have changed. 



Remember, you can give young people a sense of stabilityQthe assurance that 

although life brings many changes and some difficult times, it is possible to 

overcome obstacles and make the best of changes that may come.



Prepared by: 

Patricia Well, Extension Assistant, Centre County



This publication is available in alternative media on request.

The Pennsylvania State University is committed to the policy that all persons 

shall have equal access to programs, facilities, admission, and employment 

without regard to personal characteristics not related to ability, 

performance, or qualifications as determined by University policy or by state 

or federal authorities. The Pennsylvania State University does not 

discriminate against any person because of age, ancestry, color, disability or 

handicap, national origin, race, religious creed, sex, sexual orientation, or 

veteran status. Direct all inquiries regarding the nondiscrimination policy to 

the Affirmative Action Director, The Pennsylvania State University, 201 

Willard Building, University Park, PA 16802-2801; tel. (814)865-4700/V, (814) 

863-1150/TTY.





--------------------------CHILDREN'S PAGE ---------------------------



Bird Feeders

-------------

Materials for one feeder:

One toilet-paper roll

One 12" piece of yarn or twine

Birdseed

Peanut butter

Hole Punch

Shallow pan with edges (Cookie sheet)



Procedure:

1. Pour birdseed into pan.

2. Help your grandchild punch two holes in the top of the roll.

3. Smear peanut butter on the roll.

4. Roll the peanut butter covered roll in birdseed.

5. Help your grandchild thread the yarn through the holes and tie a knot at 

the top. The bird feeder is now ready to hang.





Clothespin Butterflies

----------------------

Cut wings from colored tissue paper or decorate a plain napkin with crayons. 

Gather wings at center. Clip clothespin to center of tissue paper wings. Open 

clothespin slightly to insert curled pipe cleaner for antennae.

If using a round-top clothespin, put the pipe cleaner in first and then place 

wings between prongs and push toward top of clothespin. Additional option:  

you can paint the clothespin, and when it is dry, attach the wings.





Folkpatterns

-----------

This activity will help you learn and share your familyUs history while 

helping to bring generations closer together.



Instructions:  Using the below sample questions as a guide, print a series of 

questions on 3 inch by 5 inch cards, one question to a card. Place the 

completed cards face down in a pile. The first player picks a card and chooses 

a second person to answer the question on the card. After answering the 

question, the second player selects a card to ask a third player. This 

continues until all the questions have been answered. This game has no right 

or wrong answers, and there are no winners or losers.



Sample Questions:



How did your parents meet?

How did your grandparents meet?

What was (is) your favorite toy as a child?

What is one tradition that your family has continued through the generations?

What color was your familyUs first car?

What is a favorite family story that is told over and over?


Information from:  4-H Project "Generation Celebration, MemberUs Guide."

Page prepared by:  Norma R. Lash, Fulton County

+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist

Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences

323 Ag Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802

(814) 863-7871

Internet Address:  DJL@PSU.EDU