Golden Opportunity-Grandparenting (Vol. 9, No. 1)
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The Golden Opportunity -- "Grandparenting"
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"The Golden Opportunity -- "Grandparenting" is an extension newsletter
prepared by Pennsylvania Family Living agents: Jane Beightol, Mifflin Co.,
(717) 248-9618; Andrea Bressler, Clearfield Co., (814) 765-7878; Nancy Covert,
Jefferson Co., (814) 849-7361; Debra Gregory, Huntingdon Co., (814) 643-1660;
Sandra Hall, Clinton Co., (717) 726-0022; and Jane Mecum, Perry Co., (717)
921-8803. This electronic version is for use by other agents or directly by
community members. (*Professionals: Please acknowledge the source of these
materials if you re-use them.)
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Volume 9, Number 1, 1998
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* IN THIS ISSUE *
* *
* Little Eyes Upon You *
* Should I Sign My House Over to an Older Grandchild *
* Do You Need to "Spend Down" Your Assets? *
* Snowflakes and Winter Picnics *
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Dear Grandparent,
Do you fall into the category of "parenting your grandchildren"? If you do you
are not alone. Grandparents across the country, regardless of income,
background, or race, are assuming this responsibility.
As a grandparent facing the prospect of caring "full time" for your
grandchild/ren, think through what you want to do, what you are able to do,
and what you must do. Prepare yourself and your family and much as possible
for the challenges ahead.
Take care of yourself. Your health and well-being are critical to the health
and well-being of your grandchild/ren.
If you have become the primary caregiver for your grandchild, help is
available. To get that help, you will need to learn how to work with the
public systems such as schools, the child welfare system and the legal system.
Be aware that most are not set up to recognize grandparents raising their
grandchildren. The organizations that will be involved will also vary greatly
from community to community, and from state to state. When seeking help, you
will have to insist that people in authority listen to you about your needs
and those of your grandchildren. You do not need to walk this road alone.
Contact the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) Grandparent
Information Center to learn about support groups and other resources.
Telephone - 202-434-2296.
Sincerely,
Sandra P. Hall
Family Living Agent
********** HERE COME THE GRANDKIDS **********
LITTLE EYES UPON YOU
We prepare our grandchildren for tomorrow by paying attention to the quality
of what we do with them today. Grandparents donUt have to be perfect, have a
special certification or a degree to teach the things that really count:
goodness, kindness, patience, feeling safe, love and cooperation.
Grandparents teach in ways that textbooks canUt. You can help your grandchild
feel special, which builds self-confidence. You can do this simply by
spending time with them--an uninterrupted one on one talk, a short walk,
playing a game, or singing a song. You can tell them a story from your
childhood or help them to appreciate flowers, trees, birds and other things of
nature. By sharing with your grandchild, the everyday things that you do, you
are passing on skills, ideas, values, and thought processes which are vital to
maturation and development.
Think about what you like to do most. Is I reading, cooking, fishing,
carpentry, sewing, playing a musical instrument, collecting, hunting, baking,
poetry writing, hiking, refinishing furniture, quilting, playing or watching
sports, letter writing, crafting, dancing, traveling, gardening, antiquing,
what else?
Invite your grandchild to work or play along with you. do things in a relaxed
easy going manner. Look for progress, not perfection, as your grandchild
works or plays along with you. Your grandchild will experience a sense of
security just having you there caring about her or him.
Share a skill, teach good will. Recognize each grandchild as an individual.
What might interest one child may not be interesting to another. The more
frequently you are together with your grandchild the easier it will become to
appreciate one another. Why not start today to plan your next time together!
There are little eyes upon you
and theyUre watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager
to do anything you do.
And a little child whoUs dreaming
of the day to be like you.
YouUre that little young oneUs idol,
youUre the wisest of the wise.
In that little mind about you
no suspicions ever rise.
Your grandchild fondly holds
all you say and do;
and will say and do it your way,
when a grown-up just like you.
ThereUs a wide-eyed little grandchild
who believes youUre always right;
and has eyes and ears wide open
you are watched by day and night.
You are setting an example
every day in all you do;
for the little one whoUs waiting
to grow up just like you.
Poem adapted from an unknown author.
Prepared by Nancy Covert, Clearfield/Jefferson Counties
********** GRAND IDEAS **********
SHOULD I SIGN MY HOUSE OVER TO AN OLDER GRANDCHILD?
Perhaps you've heard someone say that they're signing their house over to a
son or grandchild and it sounded like a good idea to you. It sounds like a
good idea because you're worried that it might have to go for medical expenses
someday, or you're afraid that there will be arguments after you're gone, or
you're worried about your estate being eaten up by inheritance taxes.
This may be a bad idea for the following reasons:
* His/her job may end and he/she must declare bankruptcy and your home
would be available to his/her creditors;
* His/her spouse may leave and try to get the house as part of the
divorce settlement and may succeed;
* He/she may die prematurely and leave everything to his/her spouse,
who then remarries. Strangers may now own your home.
This is not to say that giving away your home is always a poor idea, but
before you take any action, discuss all possible consequences with an
attorney.
DO YOU NEED TO "SPEND DOWN" YOUR ASSETS?
You can make gifts, gift tax free, up to $10,000 worth to any number of
persons each year. Together, you and your spouse, can gift $20,000 worth per
year to any one person.
This annual exclusion is allowed only for "present interest" gifts and is
denied for "future interest" gifts.
A present interest gift is one in which the receiver's possession or enjoyment
begins at the instant the gift is made. A future interest is any interest
which the receiver's use, possession, or enjoyment will not begin until some
period of time after the gift is made.
BE WARY OF PROMISES MADE WITHOUT A WILL!
Once there was a grandmother that promised her granddaughter her car when she
died. Only the two of them were aware of the verbal promise. The grandmother
didn't put it in her Will. When she died, the executor sold the car as part
of the estate settlement. The granddaughter didn't have proof of the promise.
It would be wise if you want certain people to have certain items, to write it
in your Will, or better yet, give the items away while you're living.
Prepared by: Patricia Powley, M.Ed., CFCS, CFP, Multi-County Family Living
Agent
********** CHILDRENS PAGE **********
Q-TIPS SNOWFLAKES
Consider this simple art project. YouUll need 3 Q-tips, cut in half, and a
small square of aluminum foil for each snowflake. Squeeze a small amount of
glue onto the center of aluminum foil. Have your grandchild arrange her 6
q-tips on the foil squares with the cut ends touching to make star-like
snowflakes. When the glue completely dries, peel off the foil piece. You may
want to tie a look of thread to a Q-tip to hand it in the window. You may
also decorate the snowflake with glitter.
MID-WINTER PICNIC
Even young children get tired of all the cold weather. Brighten up this
winter by having an indoor mid-winter picnic. Have your grandchild help you
to prepare simple sandwiches or other favorite picnic foods.
Spread a tablecloth on the floor. Use paper plates to serve your picnic food.
Your grandchild my want to invite her teddy bear or another stuffed animal.
your picnic may also include a picnic basket full of goodies, a book to read
together Rin the shadeS, or even some plastic ants -- just for fun!
PUZZLE CARDS
Wondering what to do with your leftover holiday cards? Turn them into puzzles
for your grandchildren to enjoy. Cut greeting cards into puzzle pieces (vary
the size and number of pieces according to your grandchildUs ability). Put
each puzzle in a recloseable plastic bag. Let your grandchild select puzzles,
put them together, then put the pieces back into the bags.
You may also write a message on the side of the card without a picture. Mail
the puzzle with a secret message to your grandchild.
(Source: Theme-A-Saurus and Theme-A-Saurus II, Warren Publishing House, Inc)
Prepared by: Andrea Bressler, Extension Agent Clearfield and Jefferson
Counties
This publication is available in alternative media on request.
The Pennsylvania State University is committed to the policy that all persons
shall have equal access to programs, facilities, admission, and employment
without regard to personal characteristics not related to ability,
performance, or qualifications as determined by University policy or by state
or federal authorities. The Pennsylvania State University does not
discriminate against any person because of age, ancestry, color, disability or
handicap, national origin, race, religious creed, sex, sexual orientation, or
veteran status. Direct all inquiries regarding the nondiscrimination policy to
the Affirmative Action Director, The Pennsylvania State University, 201
Willard Building, University Park, PA 16802-2801: Tel. (814) 863-0471; TDD
(814) 863-3175.
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Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist
Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences
323 Ag. Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802-2601
(814) 863-7871
Internet Address: DJL@PSU.EDU