Grandparent Opportunities
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THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY -- "GRANDPARENTING"
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"Golden Opportunities for Grandparents" is an extension newsletter prepared by
Pennsylvania Family Living agents: Jane Beightol, Mifflin Co., (717)
248-9618; Andrea Bressler, Clearfield Co., (814) 765-7878; Nancy Covert,
Jefferson Co., (814) 849-7361; Debra Gregory, Huntingdon Co., (814) 643-1660;
Sandra Hall, Clinton Co., (717) 893-4050; and Jane Mecum, Perry Co., (717)
582-2131. This electronic version is for use by other agents or directly by
community members. (*Professionals: Please acknowledge the source of these
materials if you re-use them.)
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Volume 7, Number 3, 1996
IN THIS ISSUE:
Keeping Up To Speed
Exploring Nature Together
Make Your Own Bubbles
Fun With Wind and Air
Paper Plate Kites
Sharing to Solve Problems
Dear Grandparents,
If you are reading this newsletter, you have obviously returned your renewal
slip and we want to thank you for your prompt response. Unfortunately, we
have several subscribers who have forgotten. Do you have a friend or relative
that didnUt get this issue? Please remind them that they are missing out on
an opportunity to share ideas on their role as grandparents. To re-new or
enroll as a new subscriber, have your friend call their local county extension
office. Numbers are listed to the right.
Since we are on the topic of sharing, you will notice that this issue is
devoted to ideas on how to share with your grandchildren and extended family
members. By nature, we are selfish individuals. It takes a great deal of
energy to give of ourselves. It seems easiest to share with our own
grandchildren than with children we donUt know. Take a moment and think about
all the children - young and old - that may not have someone special like you.
Sharing doesnUt always mean giving material things. It means taking time to
smile, wink, hug, and give words of encouragement. Next time you see a young
person doing a good job, pass on a compliment.
Someone once said, RWhat you give away, often returns ten fold!S
Sincerely,
Jane A. Mecum, CFLE, Family Living Agent
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HERE COME THE GRANDKIDS
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"Keeping Up to Speed"
Today, more than 3.3 million children live with grandparents who are their
primary, full-time caregivers and/or legal guardians. This is 41% increase
since 1980. (1) Why? Often, it's parental neglect, via divorce, mental,
emotional problems, drug, alcohol or sexual abuse or, in teen pregnancies,
parents too young to assume child-care responsibilities. (2) Or it can be
heavy parental work loads, financial difficulties where both generations must
pull together to be able to survive.
Yes, the whole story book scene differs when "Over the river and through the
woods to grandmother's house we go" changes to "at grandmothers' house we
live." Much of the time, money, and energy that you have planned toward an
independent old age are recycled back to these new little relatives who you
may not have even known five years ago. (3)
Energy levels of the two generations are directly opposed to one another. The
staying power of a grandparent may also be shorter due to health problems.
Even if you still enjoy pushing swings in the playground and playing in the
sand, you may find it difficult to get up off the ground. Young children are
by nature, needy and constantly on the move. They're up at the crack of dawn
and often fight bedtime. By the time they're tucked in, many grandparents
feel their own energy plugs pulled leaving very little, if any, personal time.
Teens present other challenges besides their strength and energy (for what
they want to do). Today's peer standards and values may be quite different
from those concerned grandparents hold dear.
The question remains, "I don't get to spoil them and send them home. I don't
have more of the pleasures and less of the worries. How can I enjoy
grandparenting when I'm a parent to my grandchildren?" Better yet, how can
one survive?
If you find time or finances a problem, get on the phone, ask friends,
neighbors to find out what community resources are available to help you.
Some communities have grandparent support groups, day care, health,
transportation, education, and recreation programs.
It's tricky territory, but keeping the grandkids busy is still a good rule of
thumb. We often tend to do too much for them, keeping us from doing more with
them. On the other hand, expecting too much can defeat your purpose. As we
work with out grandkids, we need to teach them how to be responsibly
independent according to what fits their ages. Take time to review what
social, physical and emotional behavior is appropriate for children of
different ages. Keep in mind that it takes time for adjustment, each child is
unique, and not necessarily, "just like their parents."
Whenever you don't know what to do, express how you feel honestly, be a good
listener, and have the grandkids work out the problem with you. This teaches
decision making, coping, and teamwork - important life skills.
Even though we may all have different philosophies and perspectives on
discipline, greater wisdom often comes with maturity. Don't be afraid to
follow your heart or "listen to your gut," as one granddad put it. Rest when
you can. Grands have a magic ingredient that parents lack, different sense of
time. Life can have a more "relaxed rhythm" at grandma and grandpa's house.
(4)
(1) US Census Bureau 1990
(2) Good Housekeeping, V 219 p 181 July 1994
(3) Parents, V67 p 58+ May 1992
(4) Parents, V68 pp 160-62+ Aug 1993
Prepared by Nancy Covert, Clearfield/Jefferson Counties
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CHILDREN'S PAGE
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Exploring Nature Together
* Use magnifying glasses to look at plants, rocks, insects, trees, flowers,
etc.
* Look at nature through empty paper towel or toilet paper tubes.
* Make bird baths from old garbage lids, flower pot bases, or shallow pans.
Masking Tape Bracelets
Wrap a piece of wide masking tape around your own and your grandchild's wrist
(sticky side up). Or place the tape (sticky side up) down the child's shirt
sleeve or on the front of a shirt. Explore the outdoors together and collect
items (flower, feathers, pebbles, etc.) to place on your bracelets.
Make-Your-Own Bubbles
1/2 cup dish washing detergent
5 cups water
Gently stir dish washing detergent and water. Use bubble wands, strawberry
baskets, plastic soda can holders, etc. for bubble blowing fun.
Fun With Wind and Air
* Make streamers from crepe paper or give your grandchild a scarf to hold in
the wind. A scarf for yourself doubles the fun.
* Help your grandchild to find and collect milkweed pods, dandelion seed
pods, etc. to blow in the wind.
Paper Plate Kites
paper plate (1 per kite)
ribbon (3 pieces, each 30 inches long, per kite)
Optional: 6-8 feet long piece of crepe paper
Make three holes, equally spaced, in the bottom of the paper plate. Place
each end of the ribbon through a hole in the plate. Bring together the six
ends of ribbon on the bottom of the plate and tie them in a know.
Your grandchild can hold the knot and run to make her kite fly in the wind.
On windy days, staple the piece of crepe paper to the paper plate to fly the
kite in the wind.
Prepared by Andrea Bressler, Extension Agent, Clearfield and Jefferson
Counties
(Source: Kids in the Outdoors, Better Kid Care, Penn State University, 1995)
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GRAND IDEAS
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Sharing to Solve Problems
Problem solving involves building the respect and dignity of each person in
the family. Activities that foster sharing, communication, and support are
important. Children need to feel that they are important: that their ideas
and opinions have value. They also need to develop awareness of ideas and
experiences of others within and outside the family.
Grandparents can provide a variety of opportunities to help children
understand that people are different. Try the following activity together:
It will be helpful to follow these rules:
1. The right to pass - it's OK not to share.
2. No put downs - all ideas are worthy.
3. Listen - use both ears.
4. Confidentiality - to stay at this house.
On separate sheets of paper write the following headings:
Pet Peeves . . .
Favorite Moments . . .
Things That Scare Me . . .
Things That Make Me Happy . . .
Things That Make Me Curious . . .
I'd Be Happy If . . .
Give each family member a sheet and explain the purpose of each statement.
Each person writes a list on each sheet. Younger grandchildren may need
assistance.
Sample completed sheet:
Things That Make Me Happy:
* summer vacations
* going to the movies
* roller skating
* ice cream
* reading a good book
As a family, share the responses. See what items are similar and what are
different. Talk about the answers. Are they all the same? Discuss why we
have different answers. Help grandchildren understand that experiences help
share what we like and don't like. Talk about how your experiences formed
your values. Reflecting on past experiences helps family members think about
their own values.
Through this exercise, grandchildren will learn that you may not always agree,
but are still supportive, loving, and accepting. It's part of being a family.
Sharing personal thoughts promotes many opportunities for growth. Be prepared
for some unique discussions. Grandchildren can help solve problems, too,
while helping you "keep up" with the constant changing times.
Prepared by Sandra P. Hall, Clinton County
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Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist
Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences
323 Ag. Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802-2601
(814) 863-7871
Internet Address: djl@psu.edu