Golden Opportunity-Grandparenting (Vol. 7, No. 1)
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THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY -- "GRANDPARENTING"
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"Golden Opportunities for Grandparents" is an extension newsletter prepared by
Pennsylvania Family Living agents: Jane Beightol, Mifflin Co., (717)
248-9618; Andrea Bressler, Clearfield Co., (814) 765-7878; Nancy Covert,
Jefferson Co., (814) 849-7361; Debra Gregory, Huntingdon Co., (814) 643-1660;
Sandra Hall, Clinton Co., (717) 893-4050; and Jane Mecum, Perry Co., (717)
582-2131. This electronic version is for use by other agents or directly by
community members. (*Professionals: Please acknowledge the source of these
materials if you re-use them.)
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Volume 7, Number 1, 1996
IN THIS ISSUE
Helping To Raise A Monster
Aggression Cookies
Seed Catalog Cards
Pretzel and Cheese Snacks
Greeting Card Story
Magnifying Fingerprints
Get Out and Go In The Snow
Sale Sledding
Safe Ice Skating
Dear Grandparents,
This is the first issue of Volume 7 of "Golden Opportunities." If you have
comments regarding this newsletter - pro or con, we would be interested in
your feedback. Please call or write your local extension office and tell us
what you think.
The main topic for this letter is "self esteem." This has been a buzzword for
a number of years. Poor "self esteem" or lack of "self esteem" has been
blamed for everything from the neighborhood bully to the drug abuser.
We've learned a lot about building self esteem over the years. Building self
esteem has taken us from the idea of never criticizing a child for anything
they do to hopefully hitting a happy medium with honest and specific feedback
or praise for a child's accomplishments.
Grandparents, providing they are close enough to their grandchildren (be they
toddlers or teens), can add a great deal to this pool of self confidence and
self esteem. Be sincere with your praise but not overly gushy. Make
suggestions if a child is working on a particularly hard task, but resist
stepping in and doing it for them. Nothing boosts children's opinions of
themselves more than finishing a tough job or learning a new skill. ENCOURAGE
RATHER THAN DISCOURAGE.
Sincerely,
Jane Beightol, C.F.C.S.
Family Living Agent
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HELPING TO RAISE A MONSTER?
Even though your grandchildren might not live with you every day you have a
tremendous impact on their behavior and the way they feel about themselves.
Some would say that one of the roles for a grandparent is to spoil
grand-children, but be aware you may be creating a problem.
During the infant and toddler stage, a childUs self-esteem is built. Through
the preschool and adolescent stages, children continue to build on their
self-esteem. You, as a loving and caring adult, help to contribute and mold a
childUs personal image.
Here is a little test to determine if you are deterring the positive
development of your grandchildren. Read each question and write down how many
times you answer yes.
* Do you use words like "clumsy, "slow" or other names to describe
your grandchildren?
* Do you criticize what your grandchildren do, especially when you
think he or she could have done better?
* Do you jump in and take over for your grandchild because you could do
it faster or better?
* Do you talk "rough," "mean" or just plain rudely to your grandchild?
* Do you yell or scream at your grandchildren if they don't act as
quickly as you think they should?
* Do you find yourself punishing your grandchildren before you find out
his or her side of the story?
* Do you talk badly about one or more of your grandchildren to other
members of the family?
* Are you busy doing other things while your grandchild tries to tell
you something?
What is your score? If you answered yes to four or more, congratulations you
may be already working at tearing down a grandchildUs self-esteem! Now every
parent and grandparent is guilty of doing all of these things at one time or
another. But, it is important you realize that doing several of these
behaviors on a regular basis can have a lasting impact. Children who are
exposed to name calling, humiliation, yelling and inappropriate punishment
will generally act out with bad behaviors. This negative approach, if
continued, can result in having a rebellious child who doesnUt have positive
self-esteem.
At an early age, children will copy or mimic adult behaviors. They learn how
to act from watching others, especially adults they look up to, like you. The
language and behavior skills they learn can often be reflected in their
interaction with other children. Quietly observe your grandchildren and
determine if they are exhibiting positive or negative self-esteem behaviors.
How do you build positive self-esteem? Try sharing your time, showing an
interest in what your grandchildren may be doing and listening to even their
smallest concerns. Use positive statements to frame your criticisms and place
yourself in your grandchildUs place.
Prepared by: Jane A. Mecum, Perry Co. Family Living Agent
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CHILDREN'S PAGE
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AGGRESSION COOKIES
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup margarine
2 cups oatmeal
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup flour
Put all ingredients in a large bowl and mash, knead, squeeze, and pound. This
step is the most important of all! The more aggression your grandchild puts
into the dough, the better the cookies will taste.
Form the mixture into balls, smaller than walnuts. Place on ungreased cookie
sheet. Butter the bottom of a small glass. Then dip the glass into
granulated sugar and mash the balls flat. Dip the glass in sugar after
mashing each ball. Bake at 350 F for 10 to 12 minutes.
Yield about 5 dozen cookies. These cookies often run together to form large
cookies. Making the cookies is more important then how they look!
SEED CATALOG CARDS
Cut out pictures from the seed catalogs (and gift catalogs) before you throw
them away. Paste them onto blank pieces of paper. Then write your own
personal message and use them for gift cards or thank you notes.
PRETZEL AND CHEESE SNACKS
Give your grandchild a plate with several stick pretzels and cubes of cheese.
Let your grandchild spear the cheese cubes with the pretzels, then eat them.
GREETING CARD STORY
Wondering what to do with all those pretty holiday cards? Use them to do some
story telling with your grandchildren. Place several greeting cards in a box
or bag. Have your grandchild reach in and pull out a card. Use the picture
on the card to begin your greeting card story. Take turns pulling out
greeting cards. As you go, incorporate each picture into the story.
MAGNIFYING FINGERPRINTS
Set out an ink pad and pieces of white paper. Let your grandchild press her
fingers on the ink pad and make fingerprints on the paper. Let them use a
magnifying glass to examine their own and others' fingerprints.
Prepared by: Andrea Bressler, Clearfield and Jefferson Counties
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GRAND IDEAS
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GET OUT AND GO IN THE SNOW!
Adults and children alike can suffer from "cabin fever," too much couch
sitting, and just plain restlessness this time of year. It's a good idea to
encourage your grandkids to play outside when it's not bitter cold.
Even a short period outside can make a big difference on attitudes, our
appetites, how well we sleep and sometimes, even on how siblings get along.
Why not set aside time when all family members can be together outside? Even
winter picnics can be fun. Winter time can provide an opportunity for
strengthening your family.
When properly prepared, winter outside play activities such as ice skating,
sledding, cross country skiing and snow ball fights can be fun. It's important
for adults to check equipment, play areas and alert children about safety
precautions.
For example, children should learn how to safely roll sideways off a sled to
lessen the chance of injury in a collision. They need to learn how to stop a
sled, disk or toboggan.
Children need to know what to do if they fall through the ice. In this
emergency situation, they need to stretch their arms over the solid ice and
kick as if swimming to attempt to get back onto the solid surface.
Young children need close adult supervision. It's not safe or fair to expect
an older child to watch a very young child during sledding or skating without
an adult near by. Children also
need to be taught how to go for and get help in an emergency.
PLEASE SHARE THESE SAFETY POINTS WITH YOUR GRANDCHILDREN:
SAFE SLEDDING
* Select slopes that are gentle, free of obstacles and away from
traffic.
* Sit up while riding downhill. Lying down increases chances of
abdominal and head injuries.
* Never ride in a sled being pulled by a motorized vehicle.
* Number of kids on the sled should not exceed the manufacturer's
recommendation.
* Don't wear loose clothing that could get caught under sled runners.
SAFE ICE SKATING
* Be certain the skating surface has been checked by an authority for
safe thickness of ice.
* Never skate alone.
* Don't chew gum or anything that could cause you to choke if you fell.
* Skate in the same direction as other skaters, avoid darting across
the ice.
There are good reasons to teach winter play safety. In 1994, almost 22,000
children under the age of 14 were treated in hospital emergency rooms for
injuries related to ice skating. Nearly 34,000 were treated for sledding
accident injuries.
Prepared by: Nancy Covert, Jefferson County
This publication is available in alternative media on request.
The Pennsylvania State University is committed to the policy that all persons
shall have equal access to programs, facilities, admission, and employment
without regard to personal characteristics not related to ability,
performance, or qualifications as determined by University policy or by state
or federal authorities. The Pennsylvania State University does not
discriminate against any person because of age, ancestry, color, disability or
handicap, national origin, race, religious creed, sex, sexual orientation, or
veteran status. Direct all inquiries regarding the nondiscrimination policy to
the Affirmative Action Director, The Pennsylvania State University, 201
Willard Building, University Park, PA 16802-2801: Tel. (814) 865-4700/V,
(814) 863-1150/TTY.
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Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist
Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences
323 Ag. Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802-2601
(814) 863-7871
Internet Address: DJL@PSU.EDU