Golden Opportunity-Grandparenting (Vol. 6, No. 6)
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THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY -- "GRANDPARENTING"
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"Golden Opportunities for Grandparents" is an extension newsletter prepared by
Pennsylvania Family Living agents: Jane Beightol, Mifflin Co., (717)
248-9618; Andrea Bressler, Clearfield Co., (814) 765-7878; Nancy Covert,
Jefferson Co., (814) 849-7361; Debra Gregory, Huntingdon Co., (814) 643-1660;
Sandra Hall, Clinton Co., (717) 893-4050; and Jane Mecum, Perry Co., (717)
582-2131. This electronic version is for use by other agents or directly by
community members. (*Professionals: Please acknowledge the source of these
materials if you re-use them.)
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Volume 6, Number 6, 1995
IN THIS ISSUE
Dear Grandparent
Communication--We do it all the time
Communication Using Art
Crayon Cookies
Positive Communication
Gingerbread Puppets
Puppet Talk
Dear Grandparent,
How good are your communication skills? Do you really mean what you say? Do
you take time to talk with each grandchild? Do you listen attentively to what
is being said and respond appropriately?
If you choose words carefully, there will be less times you will have to say
'no' to your grandchild. Both children and adults respond better to something
said in a positive, rather than a negative way.
Think before you speak. Practice talking positively with grandchildren to help
them feel more important and confident.
INSTEAD OF SAYING THIS: TRY THIS:
"Put your coat and boots boots "How fast can you put on you
on now!" coat and boots?"
"Don't pull his hair." "Touch his hair gently,like
this."
"Don't run in the house." "Walk in the house. Remember
running is for outside.
"That's not the way to "Let's see if we can find a
do that." better way to do that."
Remember - Stop and think before you speak. Try some of the above ideas and
see if they get better results.
Sincerely,
andra P. Hall
Extension Agent - Family Living
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COMMUNICATION
We do it all the time!
Communication is the process by which people transmit their ideas and feelings
to one another. Picture, voice, and written communication methods are ways to
communicate when we are not face-to-face with someone. Whenever we are with
another person, communication occurs whether we want it to or not. Even
without saying a word, we communicate through facial expressions, body
positions, gestures, and mannerisms.
Often, as grandparents and parents, we may complain about the lack of
communication with young people. We are really complaining about
misunderstandings and ineffective communication. We have different
experiences or "histories" with communication and that, along with the actual
method used, is what determines how we communicate and react to communicated
messages. For example, a child walks in the door at Grandparent's house and
smells freshly-baked cookies and who knows that a cookie would be offered
right away, may have a different communication reaction than a child walking
in and hearing a loud argument.
Effective communication can strengthen family relationships, but it is
something that you always have to work at. Follow these tips to use your
SENSES to improve communication:
* HEARING - Listening to someone is the greatest gift that we can give.
Concentrate and look at the speaker. Grandparents should tell children if they
are having trouble hearing them, and remember to turn off any distractions
like the radio or TV.
* SEEING - Most communication occurs through visual means. If only takes seven
(7) seconds for our eyes to see something and our brain to register that
"first impression". Remember to take a little more time to give a sincere
response to that first impression.
* TASTING - A message that can be sampled or consumed carries a vivid
impression. Taste buds of older persons and young children are sometimes more
sensitive, so don't be alarmed it everyone does not like the same item.
* SMELLING - Close contact and strong odors leave lasting memories.
Just-baked cookies are usually a positive smell memories, but what happens
when you smell a skunk?
* TOUCHING - Touch is the most personal form of communication and can be the
most misunderstood. When something or someone can be touched or handled it
will make a more vivid impression. Children's feelings about touch change as
they mature, so ask the child if they want to be hugged or held.
* Silence or softness - Although not a traditional "sense", silence or
softness can be a great form of communication in our hectic and busy world.
Have you ever just sat quietly with your grandchildren and enjoyed the feeling
that you were together? Have you ever waited, silently, for them to get the
words out to express their feelings?
Written by Debra A. Gregory, Extension Family Living Agent, Huntingdon County
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* CHILDREN'S PAGE *
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GINGERBREAD BOY PUPPETS
Yield: 1 dozen gingerbread boys
Bring to a boil; then cool:
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light molasses
1/2 tablespoon vinegar
Add: 1 beaten egg
Sift together and add:
3 cups sifted flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Mix well and chill. For best results, roll about 1/2S thick on lightly
floured board. Use raisins or chocolate chips for eyes, nose, mouth, and
buttons down the front. Insert a popsicle stick in the bottom of each cookie.
Bake at 300o F. 20 to 25 minutes or until firm.
PUPPET TALK
Encourage Conversation
Get a long, large box.
cut off two adjoining long sides. Cut several large windows along one of the
other long sides and both ends.
Set the puppet stage on a table or the floor. Add puppets. Let the childen
poke the puppets through the windows and:
Talk to each other.
Tell each other stories
Talk over problems
PEANUT BUTTER HIDEOUTS
YouUll need:
1 cup reduced-fat peanut butter
1/2 cup honey
3/4 to 1 cup powdered milk
Apple pieces\Raisins
Date bits
To Make:
1. Mix the first 3 ingredients in a large bowl.
2. Form the mixture into small balls or "hideouts."
3. Stick the apple pieces, raisins, and date bits in the middle
of the "hideouts" and then amooth over the openings.
PLEASE NOTE: CHILDREN UNDER 1 YEAR OF AGE SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN HONEY.
Snack time: Talk about what is RhibernatingS in their snacks.
APPLE POINSETTIA SALAD
Yield: 2 Salads
1 red apple
1 tablespoon peanut butter
1 tablespoon mayonnaise-type dressing
2 large lettuce leaves
2 maraschino cherries
Core and cut apple into 8 wedges. Mix peanut butter and mayonnaise dressing in
small bowl. Place lettuce leaf on saucer. Then place one tablespoon of
peanut butter mixture in center of leaf. Arrange apple wedges red side up in
poinsettia shape around the edge of peanut butter. Place maraschino cherries
in center of peanut butter mixture.
Prepared by: Jane Beightol, Mifflin County
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COMMUNICATING USING ART
We communicate with each other several different ways. Writing and speaking
to each other is the first two we think of, but we also use our bodies and art
as additional means to get our ideas across.
When it comes to grandchildren, art is an excellent way to teach many skills.
Art can help bring out the fun side of learning while you and your
grand-children communicate on many levels.
With the holiday so close, you may be spending more time with children. Here
are some ideas that you can use to help foster communication skills:
CRAYON COOKIES
Have lots of broken or unwrapped crayons stored away in a drawer? Kids seem
to always love new crayons, so hereUs a way to make special crayons:
Peel the paper off the old crayons. ( A great job for little fingers.) Put
3-6 pieces, depending on their size in the individual holders of a styrofoam
egg carton. Heat in a microwave on 50% power for 2 minutes or until crayons
melt. Time will vary depending on your microwave. Let RnewS crayons cool,
pop them out of the carton and the kids are ready to create works of art!
This is the time of the year when you probably have some presents to wrap, so
let the children decorate plain white freezer paper (unwaxed side), brown
wrapping paper or grocery bags for the holidays. They or you can use this
art work to wrap packages. This is a great self-esteem builder and a good way
for you to communicate with your grandchild.
Source: Building Blocks, Dec. 1995
POSITIVE COMMUNICATION
Children canUt remember a list of directions. Give one direction at a time.
Instead of saying, RPut away your toys, then go wash your hands, and come sit
down for lunch,S say RPlease put away the toys back in our special toy place.S
When that job is done, thank your grandchild for doing a good job and send
him or her off to the job of washing hands and eating lunch.
It is a simple step, but so much easier for you and them when youUre positive
and giving only one set of directions to follow at a time.
Prepared by: Jane A. Mecum, CFLE
Extension Agent, Perry Co.
This publication is available in alternative media on request.
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+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist
Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences
323 Ag. Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802-2601
(814) 863-7871
Internet Address: DJL@PSU.EDU