Senior Issues Vol. 3, No. 3
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SENIOR ISSUES NEWSLETTER
Vol. 3, No. 3
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"Senior Issues" is written by the following Penn State Cooperative Extension
agents who comprise the Northwest Pennsylvania Aging Cluster Team: Janice
Alberico (Lawrence County), Nancy Covert (Jefferson County), Holly Hedstrom
(Erie County), and Janet McDougall (Mercer County).
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LONELY: ThatUs Not Me!
Do you sometimes experience loneliness? What is that feeling? From where did
it come? How can a lonely person feel better? Loneliness is such a painful
and frightening experience that people have avoided studying it thoroughly.
Loneliness is caused by anything that leads to lost contact with those who
share oneUs concerns, such as death, divorce or moving away. Loneliness is
the response to the absence of someone with whom there was a relatively
lasting bond of attachment. We can be lonely at any age, but we are more
vulnerable to loneliness in our later years.
Advanced age brings people into situations that risk both emotional and social
isolation. With aging, the greater risk of losing a spouse, retirement, and
depletion of energy can lead to lost contact with friends.
Loneliness is not simply a desire for company. A new friendship doesnUt
remedy loneliness automatically. It takes another strong emotional
attachment. If that relationship can be established, loneliness ends abruptly.
Loneliness is distinct from grief in that most aspects of grief usually
subside as time goes by. Shock disappears, anger and sadness diminish, but
loneliness may be expected to continue so long as no new relationship is
formed to replace what has been lost.
Loneliness should not be confused with solitude. Solitude refers to a time
used to gain a clear understanding of oneself, to begin to be true to that
self. Solitude may be described as the glory of being alone while loneliness
is the pain of being alone.
Studies indicate that some causes of loneliness may be:
a) Feelings one doesnUt have an opportunity to interact within a
closely knit family.
b) Maintaining a feeling that one has no friends who care.
c) Having no satisfying social activities.
d) Not feeling needed.
e) No sense of involvement with other people or feeling alone even though
one may be in a crowd.
f) A lack of obtainable goals for the immediate future.
g) Having a low self concept.
Amounts of loneliness felt by people also change with the seasons or times of
year. Wintertime is the loneliest season. This is compounded by Thanksgiving
and Christmas both of which are very family and group oriented activities.
Sunday is the loneliest day of the week. The time of the day most prone to
loneliness is late at night.
Lonely people also exhibit very distinct behavior. This is referred to as the
"Searching" Behavior.
Typical behavior may include any of the following:
1. Motion Hyperactivity - is a restless movement in an aimless way.
2. Thinking Intensely - about the person, preoccupation with memories
of the lost one is another behavior pattern.
3. Searching Behavior - includes paying attention to anything that
suggests the presence of the missing person.
4. Searchers give attention to those places and things in which the
person is likely to be associated.
5. Searchers may call for the lost one.
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HOW TO OVERCOME LONELINESS
The following are some suggestions on how to overcome loneliness.
A. Take an active part in the world that you live in. This might
include volunteering for church-related service projects, working in
hospitals, schools or other institutions in the community in
addition to any paid employment a person may have.
B. Get proper exercise. Research has indicated that a personUs mental
attitude is much better if he or she receives proper physical
exercise.
C. Package oneself attractively. Getting up in the morning and getting
dressed and dressing appropriately so that you feel as though you
would look attractive and pleasant to other people.
D. Decide on something important to do the next day. Plan ahead so
that you have something that you want to accomplish tomorrow. The
person who has nothing planned for tomorrow or for the rest of the
day is much more prone to loneliness. This would also include
having special things to do on particularly bad days.
E. Start a hobby.
F. Make the day brighter for someone else. In other words, work on
making some other persons who may be lonely feel much better about
themselves.
G. Maintain a nutritious diet. It is easy when one becomes discouraged
and is experiencing feelings of loneliness, not to eat properly.
Generally speaking, a diet that is not properly balanced will
greatly contribute to feelings of depression, discouragement and
loneliness.
H. Acquire a pet animal. Pets can serve a useful function and give us
opportunity to interact with another living thing, plus they can
provide a great deal of companionship.
I. Join a self-help group of some kind.
J. Last, but not least, donUt be embarrassed to talk about the fact
that you are lonely. It would be an excellent thing to talk to your
religious leader, to neighbors or to work acquaintances. Many times
people arenUt aware that those with whom they associate are not
having all of their needs met in terms of not feeling part of the
total community.
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ALLERGIES? YOUR HOME MAY BE THE CULPRIT.
Even in the cleanest homes, dust mites, mold, pet hair and dander are common
inhabitants. They are also a major cause of many allergy flare-ups. To help
keep "home sweet home" from turning into a "Home sneeze home" try some of the
following measures.
* Improve your homeUs ventilation. Ways to do this include opening
windows, installing exhaust fans in the kitchen and bathroom, keeping
the fireplace chimney flue open on all but the coldest days.
* Vacuum often. Dust mites generally live at the base of carpet fibers
and tend to rise with moisture.
* Clean bedding regularly. Mattresses should be vacuumed and turned
every few months. Washable pillows should also be washed. Those that
are not washable should be thrown in the dryer and tumbled on the air
cycle.
* Dust the right way. For dusting, use a cloth or mop with a furniture
cleaning product designed to pick up dust and dirt. Brooms, dry rags
and feather dusters simply scatter the dust.
* Consider washable curtains. Heavy draperies collect dust, so make
sure they are cleaned twice a year and vacuumed frequently in
between.
Other measures for controlling dust mites include routine cleaning of furnace
air ducts or adding a dehumidifier to lower your homeUs relative humidity
(mites require moisture to survive). Using a double-filtered ventilator or an
air-conditioner, particularly in pollen season, may also help.
TimeSmart Tips from the Whirlpool Corp.
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DON'T KILL SPIDERS: TRANSPORT THEM OUT-OF-DOORS
With the arrival of fall, youUll find more spiders indoors. Spiders eat
insects; keeping the indoor insect population low will help reduce the number
of spiders. Caulk cracks and be sure screens are in good condition. If you
still get spiders, try to capture them in a wide-mouth canning jar. Place the
jarUs mouth over the spider to capture it. Then slip a stiff piece of paper,
such as an index card, between the jar and the surface on which you found the
spider. Take care not to injure the spider by pushing the card beneath the
jar opening too quickly. Once the jar is covered, you can transport the
spider to the outdoors to release it.
Ideas for Better Living -information from Colorado State University
Cooperative Extension
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Direct all inquiries regarding the nondiscrimination policy to the Affirmative
Action Director, The Pennsylvania State University, 201 Willard Bldg.,
University Park, PA 16802-2801; (814)863-0471 VOICE; (814)865-3175 TDD.
Where trade names are used, no discrimination is intended and no endorsement
by the Cooperative Extension Service is implied.
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Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist
Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences
323 Ag Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802
(814) 863-7871
Internet Address: djl@psu.edu