Senior Issues Newsletter, Vol.3, No.11
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SENIOR ISSUES NEWSLETTER
Vol. 3, No. 11
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"Senior Issues" is written by the following Penn State Cooperative Extension
agents who comprise the Northwest Pennsylvania Aging Cluster Team: Janice
Alberico (Lawrence County), Nancy Covert (Jefferson County), Holly Hedstrom
(Erie County), and Janet McDougall (Mercer County).
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MAKING NEW FRIENDS
There are times throughout life when we find ourselves needing to make new
friends. When a person retires, it is not unusual to miss the friends and
socializing that were a part of the workplace. Friends may move away, be
limited by poor health, or pass away. The longer we live, the more likely it
is that friendships will be lost or we will see certain friends less often.
Friendships are important for a full life. Friends provide emotional support,
share experiences, and can reminisce with us about the past. As we grow older
we need to Rre-peopleS our lives. The following suggestions may help you
re-people your life if your circle of friends is becoming smaller than you
would like:
* Link up with organizations where people share your interests. How about a
garden club, a political organization, a choral group, a walking, a
woodworking class, or a sewing group? If you canUt find a group with your
interests, organize your own!
* Make friends with people of all ages: children and youth, young parents,
and the middle aged, as well as those your own age. Share your outlook on
life and learn from theirs as you interact in the neighborhood, in local
groups and organizations, and in your religious community.
* Look up friends from long ago. Renewing contact with someone from an
earlier time or place in your life can be very rewarding.
* Volunteer with others who have similar concerns about local needs, such as
the library, schools, the hospital, or a local nursing home.
* Do you have a dog? Would you like to have one? Taking dogs for walks
often opens conversations with others and is good exercise too!
The important thing is to be willing to take the first step toward friendship.
Remember that each day is a new day--so what if you never participated in a
certain group before? ItUs never too late to begin. If you feel awkward
about developing new friendships, ask those you meet questions about
themselves. Most people find it easy to talk about themselves, and youUll
soon discover those who are on your wave length.
Be patient and keep at the effort to make new friends. It takes time to get
to know people and for friendships to develop.
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STAYING CONNECTED IF YOU HAVE LIMITATIONS
If you have physical limitations that reduce your mobility, lack
transportation, or have health problems, you may find it challenging to make
new friends and stay connected to your community. Some of these ideas may
work for you:
* Offer to call and check on homebound people on a regular basis.
* Ask local volunteer or religious organizations how you could help from
home.
* Write letters to friends and relatives regularly. Think about those who
are going through a difficult time. Write them letters of support and
encouragement.
* Check into intergenerational programs sponsored by a 4-H club, scouts, or
schools. Leaders may especially want the young people to have contacts with
older adults.
* Look into special transportation services that may be available that would
fit your needs. This assistance could help you stay involved with old friends
and make new ones.
* Speak with your doctor or a physical therapist about special devices to aid
walking or moving about, such as a walker, cane, wheelchair, or special
motorized cart that could enable you to move about.
"Friends in your life are like the pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold
you up, and sometimes they lean on you. Sometimes itUs enough just to know
theyUre standing by." Anonymous - printed in AARP pamphlet.
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MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS
Finally, as you enjoy a blend of both new and old friendships, remember that
it takes effort to maintain friendships. Keep in touch through phone calls,
notes, and visits. Invite friends to your home, even if it is for a simple
lunch or dinner or an evening of playing board games or to watch a movie
together. Invite friends to join you in attending activities and events that
youUll both enjoy. Reach out to others--donUt wait for others to reach out to
you!
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ON BEING A LONG DISTANCE GRANDPARENT
Grandparents are very important to their families. Even if you live miles
away, you can be a source of comfort and stability to your grandchildren.
Here are a few ways to spice up your relationship with grandchildren who live
at a distance:
* Send postcards and letters. Young children especially love colorful
picture postcards. When you write letters, send pictures of yourself, your
pets, scenes from a trip, or pictures of the child from a previous visit. You
can also sprinkle your correspondence with trivia questions and riddles.
* Send audio or video cassette tapes. The children can play them over and
over again and a taped "letter" is easier for a young child to understand than
a written one. Young children can reply with their own tape. Ask the parents
to interview the child on tape. The child might also play a piece recently
mastered on a musical instrument.
* Use phone calls for special occasions, if you need to watch your budget.
Sometimes events that are occasional, rather than regular, take on special
significance.
* Invite one grandchild to visit at a time. It prevents sibling rivalry and
will help assure a relaxed time for both of you. Limit the first visit to no
more than a week, in case of homesickness. Before the visit, make some plans
with the child, by letter or phone. Plan something special to do early in the
visit: a trip to a museum, an amusement park, or a fishing spot. Teach a
grandchild how to embroider, use tools, make a favorite recipe, or plant a
garden. If possible, arrange time for play with other children.
* Take a trip together. Go to a lake, a state park, historic places, or stay
at a motel with a swimming pool. Be guided by the child's age and changing
interests.
To be important to your grandchild, you don't need everyday contact. You can
maintain emotional contact from a distance. And when you're together, they
thrive on the undivided attention you can give, the unconditional love that
grandparents are so good at providing, and the opportunity to learn new things
about this interesting world.
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CAREGIVER CONCERNS
Simple Pleasures of Life
In today's busy world we often forget the "simple pleasures" of life. Another
way of saying this is that we forget to "stop and smell the roses".
Recognizing and enjoying simple pleasures in life can be a great stress
reliever for you and the one in your care.
Simple pleasures are ordinary things that give you pleasure. They're often
free. They can warm your heart and brighten your mood. Learn to recognize
your simple pleasures. Share some with your charge. Talk about what simple
pleasures he or she likes or remembers.
Some possible pleasures are:
* Giving or getting a hug.
* Seeing & smelling a flower.
* Watching fireflies.
* Hearing canning jars go "ping".
* Getting a baby to return your smile.
* Walking through dry leaves.
* Eating an ice cream cone.
* Enjoying a campfire or one in the fireplace.
* Licking the bowl (but not if its ingredients contain raw egg).
* Calling an old friend.
* Sled riding.
* Taking a bubble bath.
* Listening to crickets or nighttime peeper frogs.
* Playing with a kitten or puppy.
* Seeing and/or identifying birds.
* Looking at old greeting cards.
* Playing a musical instrument.
* Riding a bike.
* Snowball fights.
* Leaving a surprise note for a family member to find.
* Sitting on the edge of a swimming pool and kicking your feet.
* Enjoying fall foliage.
* Looking through photo albums.
* Listening to music.
* Seeing your breath on a cold day.
* Picture puzzles.
* Picnics (indoors and outdoors).
* Puddle jumping.
* Watching caterpillars.
* Singing fun songs.
* Listening to the sounds of a stream.
Some of your simple pleasures may only last a few seconds, but relishing the
warm feelings from these can make a difference in your day.
Recalling simple pleasures can be very rewarding for someone in your care.
Why not start a list of some simple pleasures with them? You can think of
others to add occasionally. Perhaps you can choose some from your list to try
again.
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Penn State encourages persons with disabilities to participate in its programs
and activities. If you anticipate needing any type of accommodation or have
questions about the physical access provided, please contact the extension
office in advance of your participation or visit.
This publication is available in alternative media on request.
The Pennsylvania State University is committed to the policy that all persons
shall have equal access to programs, facilities, admission, and employment
without regard to personal characteristics not related to ability,
performance, or qualifications as determined by University policy or by state
or federal authorities. The Pennsylvania State University does not
discriminate against any person because of age, ancestry, color, disability
or handicap, national origin, race, religious creed, sex, sexual orientation,
or veteran status. Direct all inquiries regarding the nondiscrimination
policy to the Affirmative Action Director, The Pennsylvania State University,
201 Willard Building, University Park, PA 16802-2801: Tel. (814) 865-4700/V,
(814) 863-1150/TTY.
Where trade names are used, no discrimination is intended and no endorsement
by the Cooperative Extension Service is implied.
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Dr. Dan Lago, Ph.D., Penn State Extension Aging Specialist
Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences
323 Ag Administration Building, University Park, PA 16802
(814) 863-7871
Internet Address: DJL@PSU.EDU